Not tonight, my man

I recently read Richard Price’s wonderful newish novel Lush Life, and—what do you know!—my sleepy little hometown gets a mention.

The cops have collared a suspect and they’re going through his wallet:

“Who the fuck do you know in Traverse City, Michigan?”

“In where? Oh. Yeah. This dude gave me that. This guy I met.”

“What dude. What’s his name. And don’t bullshit me, it’s right on the check.” Lugo holding it now as if they were playing liar’s poker.

“Aw, man. Fuck I remember.”

“OK. . . How about this,” Daley chimed in. “What’s Traverse City known for, huh? This dude’s your buddy, he’d've told you this. As a Traversian, he’d be very proud of this.”

“Hell I know. What.”

“It’s the cherry-picking capital of America, Fucknuts…”

15 sentences of fame. Read the book, it’s really, really good.

How did I not think of this?

Via TrueHoop, Drew Gooden used to get called “Recede Wallace.” Awesome.

Friday is too short

New movies I want to see:

New movie I do not want to see:

If Derrick Rose wants to be a star

He needs to drop the mustache. I’ve lived with patchy facial hair since puberty, and I wouldn’t mind growing something out if it looked better, but it doesn’t. DRose should go smooth—maybe he’ll inherit the Tim Duncan role as NBA shaving cream endorser.

Always the problem

This happens every year, but I really need to find a way to justify the amount of basketball I want to be watching. If I had some particular insight into the NBA, I would write about it and then feel good about myself, but I really just like watching the games. Most forms of NBA analysis just turn me off. I like watching basketball because it’s fun. And I’d be happy to mount a philosophical defense of fun, but I also want to get my damn novel finished before I turn 50.

It depends

Funny exchange about the Obamafomercial (edited for clarity):

Me: I thought it was pretty effective, I wasn’t bored.
Brohan: Yeah, I wasn’t insulted by that at all. That’s the strange thing about Obama, he spends millions of dollars and does the least histrionic or attention grabbing thing you could do with all that tv time. It is just reality TV, except the kind that most people spend more time trying to escape from than actually acknowledge is happening.
Matt: Right on, I’d like to see what mccain would do for a half hour.
Kenny: Pee three times.

Well said

Paying the bills

The NFL lines:

Favorite Open Today O/U Underdog (my picks in bold):
Arizona 3 3 48 at St. Louis
Atlanta 3 3 41 at Oakland
at Buffalo 5 5 1/2 42 NY Jets
at Chicago 13 1/2 12 1/2 43 Detroit
at Cleveland 1 1/2 1 1/2 36 1/2 Baltimore
at Denver 3 3 49 Miami
at Indianapolis 5 1/2 6 44 New England
Jacksonville 7 1/2 7 1/2 40 at Cincinnati
at Minnesota 4 1/2 4 1/2 47 Houston
at NY Giants 8 1/2 9 41 Dallas
Philadelphia 6 1/2 6 1/2 43 at Seattle
Tampa Bay 8 8 1/2 36 1/2 at Kansas City
at Tennessee 5 1/2 5 1/2 41 1/2 Green Bay

I love all the favorites at home, plus Jax and Tampa Bay giving points on the road. I’d rather stay away from Zona at St. Louis, Atlanta at Oakland, and Philly at Seattle, but for the sake of blog credibility I’ll take STL, Atlanta, and Seattle.

LOCK OF THE WEEK: Denver giving Miami three at Mile High.

Zach is saddened

I imagine this will be more of a Michael Jordan retirement than a Barry Sanders retirement.

I fast-forwarded through the commercial